I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
