You work out of a Hotel?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
