We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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