if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
