Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
