She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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