I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Come back. Shots need mouths.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
