But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
