She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dick very happy bro
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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