is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
