rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
