After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
