Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
