Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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(516): View more from New York

U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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(847): View more from Illinois

I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Winning.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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(513): View more from Ohio

This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.

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(773): View more from Illinois

i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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(512): View more from Texas

I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif

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