did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
