So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
