i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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