at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
