Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
