i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
