before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
