Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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