It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
