Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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