I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
