i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
