i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
