Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
