You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
