I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
