So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
