i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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