Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
