Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
