Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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