She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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