Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
