I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
