I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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