Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
