Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
