I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
