She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
