3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
