your thong is hanging out like whoa
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
