so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
