Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
