Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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