I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
