so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
