so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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