my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
